
It is my usual daily walk through my vegetable area. The dog looks for me to take her with me. Ahh...I should put her eCollar on but figure we are only going to the backyard so she should be fine as long as I keep her near me. We walk out back to look at the plants and everything looks okay. Potatoes look great, onions need to be pulled, cucumbers are forming nicely, lettuce is going to seed and there is some garlic ready to pick. I head to my earthgrow boxes of tomatoes and cauliflower to put water in the storage well. I turn the water off and start back to the house. I take a look at the bell peppers and eggplant and reach down to touch an unidentified hot pepper just before going in. Some are about 2 to 3 inches long and are just about rip. I am tempted to sample one to see how hot it is but decide that I better not because I may regret it and head back to the house because it is starting to rain again. I get to the porch with the dog in front and I can't resist stopping to deadhead a flower on a geranium plant. My mistake.
My dog takes off ahead of me and makes a mad dash to the front street. When I round the corner I see the neighborhood bully dog walking up the street. I reach for the remote control and realize that my dog does not have her E. Collar on and my worst nightmare is coming true right in front of my very eyes. I brace for the bloodshed, fur flying and emergency room visit for the dog and for me. The woman starts screaming hysterically and is trying to drag her dog into my neighbors front yard. She is a petite feet tall, weighs all but 100 pounds and she has this massive German Shepherd in a death grip. It is taking all of her strength to hold him. I yell for my dog and she is still on the move and then one big yell to come and she suddenly turns and comes back. I give her an emergency down and she drops in the driveway. I breath a sigh of relief and thank God for attending dog obedience classes. The woman is pale white and probably thinking that she is never coming up this street again. I take my dog by the collar and haul her inside as I mumble under my breath, "Why did I not give her the dog pamphlet for our local dog training center". Unfortunately my dog has a good memory and does not forget that this dog goes on attack mode each time he walks by us when we are out walking.
In my haste I forget that I was going in to wash my hands. Now there is sweat rolling off my brow partly from the humidity, partly from the stress of the situation and most likely from the surge of hormones that leads to a hot flash. I wipe my forehead and mouth. Suddenly my skin lights up on fire. My lip and throat start burning, my temples are throbbing and my left nostril is stinging. I remember that I touched the hot pepper and never washed my hands.
Going back to the end of May, I went plant shopping for my annual vegetables. I came to the bell peppers and selected a nice three pack. I planted them and in a matter of a few weeks realized that I did not have bell peppers but that someone moved a hot pepper into the section of bells and I end up getting the wrong plant. I don't have the heart to throw them out and figure I will give them to this nice older gentleman in my church and my brother who love hot peppers.
Now I am basically thinking lots of nasty thoughts in my head. I am mad at the dog for taking off and now have her in a down stay. She does not move and she dare not look at me. I am splashing water on my face with no success. I get the Dawn dish detergent and put it on my hands. After all Dawn is boasted as the degreaser they used to clean wildlife in the Valdez oil spills. Everytime I think I am fine and touch another spot, the burn starts again. I go and scrub my face again and again. Three hours later and my lips are still tingling and my skin feels like I got into a batch of Stinging Neetle.
Do I rip the peppers out, ask my new neighbors from Brazil if they are in to hot peppers, or print a disclosure warning and make everyone sign a waiver that does not hold me personally responsible for their injury or death? I dare not give them to the older gentleman at church for fear he will need to call 911 after eating them.
There is one bright moment in all this pandemonium. I can not wait to go to dog obedience class this week and thank all the trainers for teaching me an emergency down and a good recall. And to boot, my dog never moved from her downstay for 20 minutes which is a new record time for her. Now what to do with those darn hot peppers?